Dreaming about Goals vs Taking the Necessary Steps
We all wish to improve a new year from the past one.
But many don’t succeed.
There’s no simple way.
But there are ways to do it.
Today I will share with you how the past year was both a joyful one and a struggle, and how I came out stronger because of it.
During 2022 there was:
New friendships
Adventures
Laugher
Joy
But what many don’t see behind the all travel pictures we took is that there was also:
Floods of tears
Depression
Fights
Rage
How can we make 2023 a better year? Adding more of the good moments and less of the bad?
Is there a way?
First of all, striving to only have good and positive moments isn’t a good goal.
It may sound a bit weird, but
Here’s why:
A lot of times it’s the struggles we over come, and the moments we turn from a bad moment into a good one that actually makes us grow as a person.
It’s those moments that really makes us appreciate the good times.
It drives us to want to work harder to improve ourself and to reach our goals.
That’s the first step, remembering that the goal isn’t to avoid “bad moments” for good.
Now it’s time for the next step,
Which is:
Being present
Creating strong daily habits
Handling struggles in a more growth minded way
Practicing gratitude, finding gratitude for what you have
Without the steps mentioned above the rest will fall.
If you are stuck in the past, or dreaming about the future, the present will seem dull.
And if the present seem dull for you, you will get stuck in an endless wheel of trying to chase a better future even though you might have it all in the present.
Creating strong daily habits is one of the most important steps.
It’s a step I have struggled with the most, and staying consistent.
The best way to start, download the app: Habit tracker.
It’s the best way to start stacking habits because you will stay on top. You will immediately see if you have missed one day. And when you see how that affects your final score you will not want to miss the next day.
It’s a way of “gamifying” the progress.
Here are 4 examples of daily habits that has improved my health:
Morning Yoga
Morning Meditation (right after)
Writing a daily gratitude list (which I read the next morning)
Walking in the nature
Facing struggles in a more growth minded way might sound a bit weird.
If you haven’t, take some time to read the book Mindset by Carol Dweck.
The book will give you the first steps, and show you the difference between having a Growth mindset or a fixed mindset.
One of the easiest ways to get started, but one of the most effective, is to instead of thinking I can’t, change it to a question: How can I?
In the beginning when you face difficult times it will be hard to ask that question instead of falling into self-pity.
And it will be even harder to actually find a solution, and answer that question.
In time you will start to automatically see many solutions to your problems, and paths to take to overcome the struggle. You will get faster at solving problems.
You will get so much better that your problems will start to lack the strength to actually feel like problems. They feel more like challenges and when you face them you will climb higher.
Another important step that many forget is to ask for help when you need it.
I had a hard time earlier to ask for help, still do at times. I felt I would look weak if I asked for help, or I didn’t want to overwhelm the person I wanted to ask.
But asking for help, and also sharing openly with your closed ones will give you more support and you will feel less lonely.
It will also bring you closer to your friends and close ones when you share ups and downs and not just rainbows and roses.
And lastly,
Without gratitude you won’t find true happiness.
Today I feel grateful for:
Feeling rested when I woke up
Breakfast together with Sam
Talking with my friend
Playing with little Floki (our kitten)
Today, right now in this moment, what do you feel grateful for?
Reply to this email or leave a comment on Substack.
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